The disengagement

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This time, i am getting clearer to what i want and what i donot
It's been two years
I thought i feel comfortable living with em
I thought if i do my part of job in bonding
I thought if i really mix em with my real self
I will someday find a position within it
Somehow this day feels like never come
effort made seems just having temporary effect
And the feeling of dispatch getting stronger and stronger when im apart with em
The saddening part is
How am i gonna admit that i loved the atmosphere and people back then

Once a friend told me that its like a broken-heart relationship
where you feel u still loving yet you dont wanna touch that part anymore
There's always be thousand reasons for u to push you away from the people you met and used to mixed around
You tell yourself to get over it and best remedy is to face the fear deep down
So you took up courage to step halfway inside the memory pieces again
Then you found that still not too bad
Once again you find back the feeling of love and being loved
Until, you continue your life with another kind of journey
Disengage again
This time, your heart telling you not to go back anymore
What for doing things that you feel struggling?

Isnt life brings you sarcasm when you keep changing and dare not to admit the past?
Argh.

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